one more reason to marry myself... or so i thought...

The answer to so many of my questions was found today in the following sketch...

Though I did actually hear a man once say that he found his ditsy girlfriend's airheadedness endearing, I'm choosing not to sacrifice my intelligence in order to be more approachable.  Another man once stated, in the form of a question, how difficult it was to talk to women.  Confidence and courage are actually attractive traits.  Why would intelligence and a strong will not be considered attractive as well?  We all have our flaws.  Let's try to understand one another... or just marry ourselves.   
 

a better way... [thoughts from a dissilusioned social worker]

Feliz Dia de Los Reyes Everyone!

So anyways, I was having coffee with a friend last night.  We talked about a lot of things like confusion, sex, buying new jeans, immigration reform, dumb people, refugees and vandalism on Wealthy Street before brushing the snow off our cars and heading home three hours later. At one point he asks me what I think about the recent things happening on Wealthy Street.  I respond by asking him how we're supposed to do community development in a way that it actually brings positive change.  We talk about it for a while and come up with few concrete ideas about how to actually do it in a way that doesn't create more segregation and division.  We only agree that bringing in fancy hip businesses is not necessarily the best way to combat poverty.  Then I get home and remember something I forgot to tell him, so I send him a g-chat message and in that conversation I find the answer to all of our questions.  Music.  Discipline.  Empowerment.  El Sistema.  Check it out.  I've decided to write a letter to the the United States.  It goes like this:

Querido Estados Unidos, 


Venezuela should be an example of how to combat poverty.  Welfare and establishing fancy businesses in the ghetto are obviously not working too well for us... just saying.


sincerely yours,
a disillusioned social worker

I love this Gustavo Dudamel Fellow

"si amas algo, tienes tiempo, tienes mucho tiempo..."

See him this weekend at Celebration Cinema North.  Sunday 5pm.

being ridiculous & saying nothing... [coffee & rodents]

sometimes
     when i want
  what's in my 
head to come out 
    of my mouth

         all i end up saying
    is

absolutely    nothing
    and 
 that
       is 
         ridiculous
other people
are better 
at it than me

out loud articulation


all i can do is write ridiculous
    blog posts
that sometimes make
  people                     laugh 
      mientrastanto sounds better
than coffee

retrospectivation... [positivity]

So today I had yet. another. awesome. SUNDAY.  They tend to be that way when I spend time with a few particular individuals, namely Lindsey M., Sarah S. and Libby S.  And if you're wondering, yes, I only drink tea on Sundays with women whose names start with either L or S and all have the same debit card as me.  Because of the 'holidays' we haven't been able to unofficially have our cup of tea on Sundays for a few weeks, but today I was lucky enough to hang with la lins.  Anyways, our friend Dave the photo man posted on fb a picture of an enormous ham he was putting into his oven, so we decided to invite ourselves to partake in its piggilishishness.

little piggy

We also ate goat cheese mac and drank wine and had a scintillating conversation about 2010, which Lindsay decided was a necessary topic to discuss and got me to thinking retrospectively about 2010's greatness.  I also promised the dog I'd take her for a walk one of these days.  Ghani is charming and a lovely little thing I must say.

she isn't even annoying when she begs

So here are a few of the things that made 2010 noteworthy, exceptional and great... in no particular order...

11. I bought a house.  Today I decided it should be called "the lucky house" because I'm obsessed with Tom Petty's song Something Good Coming and I'm convinced good things will continue to happen in this big barn shaped house of love.

2. I've found beauty and profound significance in building intimate friendships with people who don't believe the same things I do.


9. I discovered a new sense of freedom to be me... whoever that is or is not... and started learning that I should be ok with who I am no matter what sex, race or nationality... 

1. I realized more how great it is to be friends with my mother.

6. I turned 30 with some of the most cherished women in my life.


3. I saw a porcupine.


10. I began to understand how important it is to not think everything is so black and white.  It's ok that things are grey.


4. I spent 3 blissful weeks in the Dominican Republic with old friends and got to ride on motorcycles again... not to mention I got one taken away by the AMET for not wearing a helmet.  That. was. a pain. in. the. butt.


8. I began loving my job.

5. I ran a 25k and a half marathon.

7. I've made some really great new friends.

12. I played on a teeter totter, and ate ice cream and made dinner with my sister.

ambiguous things...

"Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious.  But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious."

- some genius person

not being normal

somebody said i wasn't normal...

“Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from.”
- Jodie Foster

who wants to be normal anyways, whatever that is?

I was watching some old videos of myself today and thought I would share a couple of them with all of my fans out there who live and die to read my blog.

comiendo la 's' [reflexiones]

Can't sleep.

Thinking about life and change and trying new things.

the view was worth it

 










I miss the Dominican Republic and being with Dominicans.  That's why I eat my s's.  Paul once said that he became like the people that surrounded him in order to win them over.  It helped the people he was with to feel more connected to him and understood by him (I think).  I kind of lived by this in the Dominican and this kind of living sort of came naturally to me.  I felt that if I talked like the people and lived (as much as a gringa could) like the people, I would be able to form more meaningful relationships with those that surrounded me.  Maybe I took it to the extreme when I lived in that little shack on the mountain with no bathroom and no kitchen (see photo).  After all most of the people I spent time with had bathrooms, showers and kitchens in their homes.  The rats were the worst.  I'd take peeing in my backyard with the cows and bucket showers over rats any day.  Sometimes I think about not eating my s's since most people around here don't.

While thinking about life and reflecting on the past three years I have discovered a deep sense of thankfulness.  I moved here three years ago (around this time of year) and the thought of being thankful one day for that move and all that came with it, was quite a foreign concept.  But I am.  I am thankful for losing, because with it I gained more than I ever would have otherwise.  I actually think I would have lost more had I not lost what I did.  I've been challenged in ways I never would have been.  I've gained new friendships.  I've been able to reinvest in old relationships.  I've gained new perspective, insight and understanding.  I've learned to think differently.  I get to hang out with my mama and talk to her everyday.  I gained a freedom to become someone I like and don't feel I have to become something I simply am not.

Tips on Dating: The Panamerican Tour... Do's & Don'ts... [cont'd from previous post]

Ok, so let's be honest the soccer game is over.  This one anyways.  There could be more in the future.  Venezuela won, hands down.  That was obvious in the first post.  However, there is still much advice to be given to Latin men trying to date gringa women and vice versa.  Ladies, don't give your number out to the morons that do the do NOTs.  Trust me, you'll be sorry and googling how to block numbers from your cell phone before you know it.  Here is a do and don't list derived maybe from my imagination and possibly but not necessarily from personal experiences.

------------------------------------------------
Do: Tell the girl that some day when you get married you will give the wife all of your earnings and only ask for a $200 stipend per month. 

Do NOT: Ask the girl for help figuring out how much of a tip to give to the server.  This indicates that you cannot do basic math and at 32 you still do not know how to tip.  Not impressive.

Do: Insist that your birthday be celebrated for an entire month.

Do NOT: Tag ALL text messages as URGENT with a bright red exclamation point! That's just annoying and stupid.

Do: Be patient, persistent, respectful and intentional.  This is very attractive.

Do NOT: Text and call repeatedly and continue to do so when the girl continues to NEVER respond.

Do: Put a picture given to you by the girl (after insisting that she gives you a birthday present every Monday and Friday for the entire month of your Birthday) on your desk at work, not caring about the ridicule you might receive from passing co-workers who never noticed anything on your desk before.

Do NOT: Keep texting her after she hasn't responded in weeks to any of your URGENT!!!! texts.  

---------------------------------------

Ok, I think this concludes today's edition of the Panamerican Dating Tour.  It might be the last, but you never know. 

 

hedgehogs are like little porcupines [sueños]

I had a very strange dream the other night.  The dream took place in my apartment and involved a dead rat that came back to life, a hedgehog, a man we'll call Mr. Porcupine and a frying pan.

The dead rat was disgusting and huge.  I was trying to kill it with the frying pan after it came back to life, with little to no help from Mr. Porcupine, who just stood there in quiet observation.

The hedgehog however was kind of cute and intriguing but I didn't feel it needed to be running around my apartment so I was trying to capture it, again with no help from Mr. Porcupine.  


The dream ended at some point and I never killed the rat, nor did I catch that damn hedgehog.  But when I woke up you bet I looked up hedgehog on google images because I had no idea what a hedgehog was.  Come to find out, they are like little porcupines.

My friend interpreted the dream for me.  My conclusion is this: 

I'm feeling a little hesitant and having my doubts about some things, particularly with prickly little rodents.  However, I'm strangely drawn to them and trying to sort out the doubts, while at the same time being open to what might become of all of this.  

tips on dating: the panamerican tour... a top 10 list of sorts...

10.31.2010
So over the last several weeks I have ate dinner (sushi, lebanese, mexican & other varieties), gone to Chicago, ate lunch, walked around, climbed the Sears Tower (in an elevator), danced some merengue and bachata, drank some wine and other adult beverages and some other things. After consulting with some close friends about these events they informed me that the majority of these activities were dates. I think they base their conclusions on the fact that I have spent little to no money doing any of these things and they usually involved someone of the opposite gender driving me around in their car. I would like to think they are simply activities done with generous men pursuing a fraternal friendship with a cool girl. However, I'm beginning to think that's a slightly unrealistic perspective.

Without going into too much detail and context I would like to share a little bit of what I've learned from these so-called dates and some other non-date encounters with men I refused to give my phone number to but was willing to dance with. I feel the lack of detail and context provide room for you to use your creative imagination. Now, if you are reading this, hoping to get some advice on dating, you should know that average (whatever that is), gringo men never express any interest in me so my experiences are limited mostly to men from Latin America and me, a gringa. I don't know how white men flirt with women, nor do I know exactly what Latina women like or find acceptable. I kind of think of this as a soccer tournament of sorts, thus the titles found below.

Honduras vs. Mexico - 0-0 - many attempts but no goals
10 Things that should not happen within 2 weeks of knowing a girl you might want to see again... including things that should never be translated into English...

10 - Text her once. Then, after she hasn't responded within 10 minutes, text again by saying "hellooooo?!?"
10 1/2 - Say, "que tienes?" whenever there are moments of silence that last more than 11 seconds... this is terribly annoying for introverts and people comfortable not talking
9 - Be over the age of 30 and talk incessantly about losing your temper, disrespecting your supervisor and almost getting into a physical fight.
8 - After buying her a couple of drinks and dancing a few songs with her say, "you be my girl now"
7 - Fart audibly and then, after she calls you a COCHINOOO!!!! (pig in Spanish) say, "it was the sushi just think about something else"
6 - Beg her to stay all night to keep you company after only knowing her for a week. This indicates that you are lonely and pathetic.
5 - Have a blanket on your bed that has a huge panther on it and show it to the girl proudly.
4 - Say you love your television.
3 - Never, ever say things like "you have delicious lips" in English. These types of one liners can only be said in Spanish, unless you are hoping to be laughed at.
2 - After hearing her speak in Spanish with a Dominican accent say (in English), "Where u from? You sound like Dominican lady. I always dream of being with Dominican lady. With you is like all of my dreams coming true." This might have been flattering in Spanish, but probably not.
(insert drum roll)
1 - Say, "I want you to have my children." This is only acceptable after love and long term commitment, such as marriage, has been determined between both parties.

Venezuela vs. the rest of Latinoamerica 2-010 acceptable things to do and say within a few weeks of knowing a girl...
10 - drive a foreign car
9 - invite and pay
8 - say in Spanish, what obviously should never be said in English
7 - offer to help her with home projects/chores such as lawn care
6 - be very interested in what she does for work/leisure
5 - have a really good sense of humor: combination of dry, sarcastic and really random
4 - have fun/creative ideas for activities
3 - be comfortable with silence
2 - tell the girl she is cute, in such a way that you also acknowledge the beauty in her friends
1 - talk about how brilliant and put together women are and how you cannot possibly understand why they are still not ruling the world, while making it very obvious that this is not a pick up line but truly something you have contemplated

__________________________________

Well, that concludes this edition of the Panamerican Dating Tour. Stay tuned, as much has been left out and much is yet to come and much has been eliminated and edited. Questions and comments may be left in the comment section of this post on this blog. Further detail, context and explanation of certain material is strictly limited to certain parties in order to protect the audacious, bold and shameless Latin men involved and their egos.