A few days before Christmas I was contracted by my mom's friend Sandra to clean her house. Her daughter Roshanda and I went out the night before and I was so tired the next day from the lack of sleep that I had to take a nap on the side of the road. But that's beside the point. But what is not beside the point is that they called me while I was napping and they were driving on the same road as me and only a couple of miles ahead. So they pulled over and Roshanda drove me to their house while I gave her a lesson in how to drive a manual shift car and played LMFAO as loud as possible. I didn't get the hint that she had a headache when she said, "Aren't you hungover? Don't you have a headache?" I just said, "Oh, no, I'm just severely nautious."
Here is some dialogue from cleaning day:
Me: "Oh hi Frank, you are a lot cuter than the last time I saw you when you were 8." (to Roshanda's brother who I babysat a few times)
Me: "Where are those cookies you were talking about?"
Sandra: "They are in the pantry, help yourself."
Me: "Do they have butter?"
Me: "Perfect. Do you have any toast?"
20 minutes later doubled over the kitchen counter...
Me: "So, I think I'll start with the bathrooms."
Roshanda: "It would be nice if you just started."
Frank: "So how rich are you guys that you can afford a white cleaning lady?"
Sandra: "Ok we're going to go out to dinner, we'll be back in a little while."
Frank: "Where should I put the nanny camera?"
They all returned a little while later and found me sleeping on the couch.
I allegedly missed some dust under the television.
Sandra threw some money at me and I put it in my pocket.
Sandra: "Just like a good hooker!"