Wednesday, December 29, 2010

ambiguous things...

"Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious.  But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious."

- some genius person

black & white

i am 
                       coming 
to terms 
                                       with the fact 
           that most 
                            things 
                           in 
                         life 
                                                          are neither 

black 

nor   
                                                 white... 



they... 
              are... 
                          just... 
                                      plain...                                                                                                                                                            grey...

and i just discovered that this color can acceptably be spelled with either an "e" or an  "a"...  thank you google, i am now clear on one thing...

Monday, December 20, 2010

forget superstition... [oh hell no]

So, I was thinking the other day.  Well, actually I've been thinking a lot lately, which is not uncommon.  Anyways, people always say that bad things happen in threes.  I think I can better identify with the saying "when it rains, it pours," because honestly, my series of unfortunate events always seem to surpass three... by far.  Today, I lost count.  The first in the series of unfortunate events was of course failing to yield.  My car got totaled when I decided unconsciously to take my foot off the brake without looking.  Dumb.  The second was I think the encounter with an asshole, which had me in a tizzy for several days.  The third, well... let's just say some people have trouble following through, but they are working on it.  Annoying.  Then, my friend died.  Then I found out that he didn't die.  I think we've passed three.  Then I decided to make the kid's bed and as a result was crippled for three days.  I'm still recovering but managed to run five miles today.  And today, a refugee rammed into the car I am borrowing in the parking lot at work.  One word to describe the last several weeks...

UN...  BE... LIEV...  A... BLE...

But, remarkably... I am still smiling.  Rolling my eyes, but smiling.  Hopeful.  Very hopeful.  Remarkably hopeful, that tomorrow I will have dreamy and delightful encounters with people at DHS, the gas company and AT&T.  Here's to Monday!

an age old recipe [serious this time]

ladies and gentlemen the recipe has been handed down from generation to generation and always seems to get lost... every year every one is looking for the recipe at Christmas time and no one seems to know where it is and gets in a tizzy searching for it... i have it... in my possession...  the recipe for WALNUT FROSTIES... 

this is a picture of some little piggies that showed up in google images when i searched "walnut frosties"... they are not walnut frosties, they are little piggies with chocolate on their backs, sitting on a plate on a polka dot table cloth...
  
so anyways, here's the recipe... i think my mom and my aunts are really the only ones that want it...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

recipes and things to encourage more viewings...

i was telling everyone on fb the other day that i don't understand why i have so few followers on this blog...  a lady suggested i advertise, post recipes, give things away and have cute kids... is the educational and informational content along with unmatched humor not enough??  i don't understand.  why do i need to bribe people?? my friends have cute kids and if you didn't notice i posted a whole series of pictures with two of them a few weeks ago... and also, i was a cute kid and posted a picture of that last week... so anyways, here is a pie that i made one time and a pot of delicious soup.  find the recipes below... 

soup recipe:
chop up a bunch of vegetables
chop up a bunch of fresh cilantro
garlic (duh)
salt to taste
a chicken leg or chicken stock
water 


 cherry pie recipe:
make homemade pie crust
make cherry pie filling
(not from a can, that's just wrong)
bake

faith in fortune cookies [yes, please]

the other day i was remembering how faith is based on knowledge and past experience...  i then remembered this little fortune i got in a fortune cookie that i found in my pantry several weeks ago...

it's kind of cold these days so i think it would be a good time for this to come true... past experience with messages found in fortune cookies gives me great hope...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

snuggle. yes. please.

sometimes.  all.  i.  want.  to.  do.  is.  this.

 (just to clarify, i am not talking about wearing matching clothes with my mom, particularly not pink and white stripes)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

amazingly cute and stylish dresses...

if you have money to waste on cute dresses or if you have fun places/occasions to wear cute dresses i suggest going to this site... i unfortunately have neither, i just like looking at the cute dresses and dreaming about how cute i would be wearing one of them...

http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth/Womens/Dresses?page=5

they should use me as a model, they would get better sales

lolipops and sucking...

most people really suck this week... and they aren't sucking lolipops... tomorrow is monday, the start to a new week, so i am pasting this lolipop here to encourage all of the sucking people out there to stop sucking and to only suck lolipops...  because that's the nice, decent and respectable thing to do...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

assholes followed by amazingness...

Today I encountered an asshole.  I then went running to find some endorphins.  

Just when I had nearly lost all respect and hope for humanity [please note underlined section] I came home and discovered... once again... that my roommate... is... amazing...  please note, she is female... i credit about 89% of her amazingness to the fact that she is of this gender...  the following is documentation of what I found when I got home this evening after dealing with assholes and sweating them off at the YMCA...
                                
                  Exhibit A: she understands that at certain times it is simply unacceptable to wash dishes...    

                                                               
         Exhibit B:  when she bakes something for something, she always leaves some on the counter...


                                     Exhibit C: Lord God Almighty could this get any better???

Just when I had nearly lost hope that there was any goodness left in this world...  I discover folded laundry and chocolate... a slight bit of hope has been restored thanks to you roommate...

Monday, December 6, 2010

the honey moon stage


today i was smothered with kisses and hugs by a little iraqi woman... when i asked her brother why they didn't move to another state (as planned), he said his sister refused because she likes Michigan and the agency I work for... in the same conversation he also mentioned how much his sister likes me...

i will tell myself she refused to leave because she couldn't stand the thought of leaving me...

i was also told by a newly arrived iraqi family that i've seen three times, that the children just love it when i come over... that they get really happy when they see me...

oh the honey moon stage... it's bliss

i can only think of one thing that would have made today even better...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

cubicles... [sueños]


saying shut up and dropping things [oh, hell no...]

Thursday in the office... 
Setting:
I am sitting at my desk behind the door, in the corner, as usual with coats falling on me.  The intern is at the desk next to me asking about my car.  Male co-worker who we will call mr. misogynist, comes in, sits down behind me at his computer, overhearing our conversation.


Dialogue:
mr. misogynist: oh, is that what you didn't want me to know about earlier?  cuz...
me: cutting him off i say "shut up mr. m" (because i can read minds and know what he's going to say)
mr. m: because women...
me: shut up mr. m
mr. m: don't know...
me: shut up mr. m (inserting middle finger in his face)
mr. m: how to drive and run into things
me: [___]  insert f bomb here

Conclusion/Reflection:
Sometimes it's appropriate to tell people to shut up.  However, maybe we should reconsider how to respond to annoying sexist comments said as "jokes," especially in supposed professional settings and most importantly when interns are present.  I'll try a more mature method next time.

A Drawing of the Scene (for the visual learners):
please note and respect the copyright





Wednesday, December 1, 2010

overstimulation & failing to yield... [oh, hell no]

experiencing brain freeze as a result of over stimulation
As of a few days ago I shared an office with six people.  The count is up to eight now and the room is only about 10'x10.'  We are clearly violating the fire code and if the fire marshal came in here it would be a disaster.  Sharing this space with so many people makes me less productive because with all of the chatter and movement I can't think straight, almost to the point where I don't even know where I am or what I am doing there.   At one point during the day there were five people sitting at desks and four people standing up in our office all talking either to each other, to themselves or to someone on the phone .  As a result I was highly over stimulated and couldn't function.  It felt like I was in a crowd of millions of people shouting and all moving in opposite directions.  With the chaos I didn't know which way was left.  To make matters worse, my desk is small and jammed in a corner, behind the door and next a file cabinet that somehow always has an open drawer leaving me feeling trapped and crowded.  And for some reason, behind the door is also where the coats are hung, which inevitably are constantly falling on my head.  I nearly lost it and when another person was about to enter I told them they'd have to wait as we had already reached capacity and surpassed it.  I had a short fit of insanity and later had to apologize to the intern, who seemed a little freaked out by my reaction.

So later on I headed out to a home visit in Battle Creek.  A quick stop to my house on the way turned into getting smashed into, phone calls with the insurance company, a tow truck and a high priced ticket for failing to yield. 

So anyways, it was a great day, just like any other day.  I felt like a woman driver, similar to those documented in this video.  And the music in this video creates in me the same feeling I had in the office today.  Strangely, I look forward to a future office experience with cubicles.

tuesdays are the best

two reasons...