Sunday, November 13, 2011

professional picture crisis

As surprising as it may be, I'm having difficulty finding an appropriate picture of myself for my internship application.  Here are just a few that I've found that don't seem quite professional enough for the occasion.  I don't really want to take a shower and get spiffed up for this, so I continue to search.


I suppose this could almost work, I mean despite the coloring and fish-face.

Thinking maybe not appropriate for a social work internship.

This one had some potential until I smiled.

Uh, ya, no. This person should not be allowed to work with people.

I may be mistaken but social workers are supposed to help people break bad habits and poor lifestyle choices instead of encouraging them. But I do like this hairstyle. A lot.

Um. Ya. No. Just creepy.

Again. Not appropriate.

Sexy bitch not working either.

I think this could work from certain angles.

Again, this one had potential.

today has to be productive

here is my list for the day or i may fail the semester:


- finish field placement application
- finish assessment
- finish group project paper
- find news article and write a summary about it
- make some mittens
- eat dinner with friends
- go on a walk with friend


oh god... here we go


this is kind of how i feel (stolen from cousin's blog)


beautiful weird things

Yesterday I went to my step-sister's baby shower.  Many of you might say, uh, what, how do you have a step sister?


Well, I used to have three.


Until there was a divorce.


It was messy and ugly for a while, yes, but somehow over the course of the years something beautiful became of it.


Society and culture seem to tell us that in brokenness nothing can be restored. Being in relationship with your ex-stepsisters and their family is just weird. I mean, my mother even hangs out with them. More than I do actually. Even with their mom, her ex-husband's other ex-wife. Even weirder, right?


Wrong.


It's beautiful.


I believe it's the way life ought to be. If everyone can get beyond the hurt and disfunction and feel ok about being together, then why would you not spend time together? Especially if you have history and share good memories.


Life is about relationships.  It's about trying desperately to be in healthy and loving relationships.  It's about restoring brokenness.


And so I hang out with my step-sisters, their mother and their family, who I once called my own by marriage.


Yes, it's weird if you think about it, but it's actually quite beautiful if you really think about it.


Love you girls.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

deathly basement stairs

I was very unimpressed with how many people were concerned about my near death experience today.  I am a visual person so I figure, maybe their lack of compassion was due to the fact that they didn't see it happen or simply because I told them what happened instead of drawing a picture for them.


So I decided to draw a picture.  Here it is.  I was simply trying to be productive this morning.  I just wanted to listen to some music, dance in my basement and clean some stuff up.  But that never happened, because this happened:




And no one seems to care.  I have a huge bruise on my ass and another on my thigh, not due to the fall but to the fact that a shark somehow got loose in my basement and attached me while I was falling down the stairs.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

two seasons

Over the course of the last few years I have noticed something in my interactions with my mother. Because of the nature of her job, her life is split into two seasons.


The two seasons result in very distinct phone conversations but with surprisingly similar patterns of distraction.


I am used to both seasons at this point, but the transitions are always a little difficult.  Just when I get used to one season, it ends and so begins the next.


FLOWER SEASON PHONE CONVERSATIONS:
Me: Hi Mama
Mama: bla bla take those flowers over there, no the manager is going to have a fit if you... 
Me: Uh, hellooooo?!?!?!  You answered the phone!!
Mama: Oh, hi Shelb.  Make it quick I'm kinda busy.
Me: Well, I was just going to tell you this import..
Mama: hey, it's hotter than hell out here and these flowers are dying can't you get someone to water these flowers?!?!
Me: uhhh hellloooooo?!?!?!
Mama: shelb, I gotta go.


click.


DICKER & DEAL SEASON:
(click here for a complete story & explanation about D&D)
Me: Mama?
Mama: Hello
Background: bla bla ha ha ha, hey sabrina
Me: So what are you doing?
Mama: Oh, nothing. ha ha ha ha
Me: What are you laughing at?
Mama: Oh Freddie, he's hilarious.
Me: Oh God, really?  How many times have you been there today.
Mama: Shelb, I gotta go, Salim was about to tell me a story.  Oh by the way, I have this guy I want you to meet.
Me: Uh, yah, no thanks.  I prefer men with teeth who shower and speak in full sentences.


I called my mom the other day and realized the season had somehow changed without my realizing it.


Me: Hey mama.
Mama: Hi. How are you?
Me: Good, whatcha doin'?
Mama: Sitting in a chair.
Me: Uh, ok.
bla bla bla.
Mama: Shelb, I gotta go, I'm sitting in this lawn chair totally in the way.
Me: Where are you?
Mama: Dicker & Deal.
Me. Oh God.


_______________________


And so it begins.  


A new season.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

mothers & daughters

This is probably not true for everyone, but I am lucky enough to be able to recognize the truth in it for me personally.  And so, I dedicate this quote to all of the snotty, bitchy teenage girls and young adults and the mothers that put up with them.  


Because I realized something today...


Eventually, the mother that you think doesn't understand you, ends up being the only person in the world that does.


I'm assuming this will be a famous quote one day that I'll make a lot of money off of.  But I didn't say it for the money, I said it because it's true (for me).


I love my mama and probably call her more than she'd like.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

...and then

it's Thursday night... 


i get to hang out with my favorite baby chancho...


this is what happened tonight...










hmmm...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

tasty quinoa recipe with squash

My mother tells me if I put more recipes on my blog then it will get more hits and become famous.  It's already famous (in my mind) but whatever.


So I'm actually going to give you a recipe that I invented today with a better indication of ingredients and amounts.  How's that for a change?


I recently (two days ago) eliminated animal products and other things like soy (because I almost hate Monsanto) from my diet, for a number of reason of which we won't go into today.  It didn't really change what I cook but what I often find myself snacking on, as well as my coveted morning cup of cafe con leche.


I have an intimate relationship with her and it's just not the same with almond or coconut milk.  Almost disgusting actually.


Yogurt and cheese too.  Hmmm... I guess it did affect things a little more than I am willing to admit.


Anyways, here is the recipe for today's delightful lunch.  A while ago I began introducing quinoa into my diet because it's better than rice, tastes better and has lots of protein, which is nice since I never eat meat.


Quinoa/Squash Delight




- 3 cups H20 & 1 cup Coconut milk to boil
- Add 1 cup diced, raw squash (butternut or acorn is good)
- Meanwhile toast in non-stick pan 2 cups of quinoa and throw in a small diced onion
- Add quinoa to the squash
- Add a handful of dried cranberries
- Add a diced up piece of celery
- Add a dash of salt to your liking
- Cover until fluffy and delicious on low heat
- eat either by yourself in the company of loved ones or enemies (they'll love you after they eat this)






I also added a small fistful of TVP, which is a dried vegetable protein.  If you do this you should add an extra 1/3 or so of water.  It doesn't really change the taste of the dish but adds some more protein and nutrients.