Over the course of the last few years I have noticed something in my interactions with my mother. Because of the nature of her job, her life is split into two seasons.
The two seasons result in very distinct phone conversations but with surprisingly similar patterns of distraction.
I am used to both seasons at this point, but the transitions are always a little difficult. Just when I get used to one season, it ends and so begins the next.
FLOWER SEASON PHONE CONVERSATIONS:
Me: Hi Mama
Mama: bla bla take those flowers over there, no the manager is going to have a fit if you...
Me: Uh, hellooooo?!?!?! You answered the phone!!
Mama: Oh, hi Shelb. Make it quick I'm kinda busy.
Me: Well, I was just going to tell you this import..
Mama: hey, it's hotter than hell out here and these flowers are dying can't you get someone to water these flowers?!?!
Me: uhhh hellloooooo?!?!?!
Mama: shelb, I gotta go.
DICKER & DEAL SEASON:
(click here for a complete story & explanation about D&D)
Background: bla bla ha ha ha, hey sabrina
Me: So what are you doing?
Mama: Oh, nothing. ha ha ha ha
Me: What are you laughing at?
Mama: Oh Freddie, he's hilarious.
Me: Oh God, really? How many times have you been there today.
Mama: Shelb, I gotta go, Salim was about to tell me a story. Oh by the way, I have this guy I want you to meet.
Me: Uh, yah, no thanks. I prefer men with teeth who shower and speak in full sentences.
I called my mom the other day and realized the season had somehow changed without my realizing it.
Me: Hey mama.
Mama: Hi. How are you?
Me: Good, whatcha doin'?
Mama: Sitting in a chair.
Me: Uh, ok.
bla bla bla.
Mama: Shelb, I gotta go, I'm sitting in this lawn chair totally in the way.
Me: Where are you?
Mama: Dicker & Deal.
Me. Oh God.
And so it begins.
A new season.