Wednesday, January 19, 2011

steam room chatter... [oh hell no]

After tonight, I honestly don't know what's worse... walking into the steam room at the gym and finding a bunch of old, very overweight naked ladies who talk about things I don't mind overhearing or finding a couple of shallow 20 year old girls in bikinis.  Actually, I do think I know what's worse.

First, let me introduce the characters:

Bikini girl A is wearing a little string polka dot bikini, or maybe it was striped.  I don't remember.  She is thin.

Bikini girl B is wearing a towel, probably over her bikini.  She is a little less thin than her friend, bikini girl A.

Now, here is the conversation I overheard:

Bikini Girl A: "I just don't know how you get yourself into these kind of situations."

Bikini Girl B: "It's like I don't even know.  Like I don't even get myself into them, they just like find me."

Bikini Girl A: "Yeah I guess, I like understand that. You like need to figure out what to do now."

Bikini Girl B: "I am going to lose 30lbs. and then go up to Brian and be like, look what you had and now you can't have it.  That will like really get him back because then I'll be hot and he'll want me."

Bikini Girl A: "Yeah like you just have to do it."

Bikini Girl B: "I'm going to you just give me a couple of months.  And like the only way I'm going to get over Brian is if I find another guy.  So I'm going to like lose 30lbs., get hot and find a hot guy to date me and that will solve all of my problems and I won't think about Brian anymore.  But I can't stop thinking about Brian until I like find some other guy."

By this point I had rolled my eyes so much my head was hurting and couldn't even hear what they were saying anymore.  I found myself in a daze imagining the old ladies with their saggy boobs, cellulite and long toe nails, when I overheard them discussing every detail of their workout and how they felt they had been at the gym long enough for them to call it good.  So yeah, I'll definitely take the naked old ladies over these chicks any day. 

Now, for the visual learners I have included this sketch:


  1. Oh my goodness. I would have been rolling my eyes too and probably trying to hold back some audible "humphs" as well. Oh . . . and I love the drawing!

  2. I think we naked, overweight, old ladies are too
    good for you. Stick with the 20 somethings.

  3. i knew it would come to this...