Sunday, November 28, 2010

comiendo la 's' [reflexiones]

Can't sleep.

Thinking about life and change and trying new things.

the view was worth it

I miss the Dominican Republic and being with Dominicans.  That's why I eat my s's.  Paul once said that he became like the people that surrounded him in order to win them over.  It helped the people he was with to feel more connected to him and understood by him (I think).  I kind of lived by this in the Dominican and this kind of living sort of came naturally to me.  I felt that if I talked like the people and lived (as much as a gringa could) like the people, I would be able to form more meaningful relationships with those that surrounded me.  Maybe I took it to the extreme when I lived in that little shack on the mountain with no bathroom and no kitchen (see photo).  After all most of the people I spent time with had bathrooms, showers and kitchens in their homes.  The rats were the worst.  I'd take peeing in my backyard with the cows and bucket showers over rats any day.  Sometimes I think about not eating my s's since most people around here don't.

While thinking about life and reflecting on the past three years I have discovered a deep sense of thankfulness.  I moved here three years ago (around this time of year) and the thought of being thankful one day for that move and all that came with it, was quite a foreign concept.  But I am.  I am thankful for losing, because with it I gained more than I ever would have otherwise.  I actually think I would have lost more had I not lost what I did.  I've been challenged in ways I never would have been.  I've gained new friendships.  I've been able to reinvest in old relationships.  I've gained new perspective, insight and understanding.  I've learned to think differently.  I get to hang out with my mama and talk to her everyday.  I gained a freedom to become someone I like and don't feel I have to become something I simply am not.

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