gupta, tumeric & a damn sexy nose

So I flew down to Florida yesterday after work for a much needed sun-filled vacation.  I met an interesting Indian man, who ironically reminded me of Gupta from Outsourced.  If you don't know who he is, you are seriously missing out on some incredible humor.  I want to marry him.

Like Gupta, my new friend Mohammed, did not stop talking from the second he realized he was sitting next to me on the plane, when he said, "Oh today is my lucky day!."  Except he was kind of more annoying than I would imagine Gupta to be. 

I could barely understand him so he had to repeat himself constantly.  I find this quite ironic as I am very used to speaking to non-native English speakers.

Here are some of the noteworthy things that were said to me during our 1 1/2 hour flight from Atlanta to Orlando.  Now realize that these sort of comments usually stun me and my responses are less than impressive so I have placed my "thoughts" in parenthesis. 

"You could move to Orlando and live with me for free."


(Ummm, ya and I would also probably have to bare your children)


"Your nose is very red.  Here is a tissue.  Blow.  You sound like a duck."


(A duck?  Is this guy for real?)


"You know, your nose is your most sexy feature."


(seriously? my raw, red, running nose?)


"Do you like to go fishing?  I have an extra pole at the house."


"Do you like to go horse back riding?  I can take you."


"Do you want to go out this weekend while you are in town?"


(no no no I just want to sit by a pool by myself and hang out with my cousin and go running)


"You have probably had a boyfriend, right?"


---- yes ----


"After a few months of dating if you said you were cold, he probably jumped to get you a sweater."


---- ya, right. ----


"As pretty as you are I imagine any man would simply do whatever you say."

--- not so much the reality I've experienced ---



___________________________


He said a lot more but I can't really remember what it was right now.  

Oh, he gave me this recipe for my cold.  He said it works miracles.

yes, he wrote it on the back of his boarding pass so i would remember his name.  and yes, that is his phone number at the bottom of the remedy.

Have you ever asked for the flight attendants to get you anything?  By the end of the flight I think he had signaled them to get him something or take his trash about 7 times.  He also had this smelly cheese steak sandwich and fries that he brought on the plane and offered to share with me.  I declined.