Unlike other dating services Ms. Free (I prefer calling her "mama" or "sab" -- call her what you like) finds you a man, unsolicited. It's as easy as not even signing up and you don't even have to fill out a profile or upload pictures, as she will find her own and provide the prospect with information you would probably not share even after dating for six months.
Depending on her mood she may tell the date that you are cute, or when asked she may say, "Well, I guess she's ok." Then after searching all over her phone for a picture, frustrated, she will show him the first one she finds, which of course should have been deleted.
Here is the first possible "match" I received via a text message. Please refer back to the blog post about the FBI and Dicker & Deal to read about the whole story. I did later text him but it seems he was just being kind to my mother by telling her he'd go out for coffee, as he never responded.
The latest was received on Friday, shortly after Sab rudely cut our phone conversation short because she had to go meet her friend Kathy for dinner at Buddies, which is for Kathy as Dicker & Deal is for Sab. If you've been following these posts, you can only imagine.
At 6:08pm I received the following text:
Sab: "This guy is cute. He has cats but seemed willing to get rid of them. Kathy recommends him."
Me: "Oh my God. Are you kidding me? Are you drunk?"
Sab: "No, she told him you are real cute and he said oh ok take my picture."
Emily (Kathy's daughter, after I texted her the information): "Ha! Yah, my mother does that all the time!"
All of this presents me with a question. If I have not had children by the age of fifty, what on earth will I do with my time and what will I talk about?
Maybe Kathy and Sab should do business together. If you are interested in their services please let me know. Maybe having more clients will distract them from the fact that their daughters have not yet married and bore them grandchildren.