Tuesday, March 29, 2011

other news: google replaced mothers

I don't know about you but sometimes when I need a quick answer to something I am questioning, I simply dial "2" on my speed dial. 

Usually a chipper "hello" comes in on the other line, which I sometimes find sounds slightly sarcastic as if really saying, "Oh jeez what do you want now?" or "Maybe if I sound chipper she won't get all grumpy with me."

So anyways, yesterday I dialed "2" for a much needed "insta-answer" from my mother, the woman who I think knows every answer to every question I have ever had and ever will have.  Or at least she should for convenience sake.

This time she however, claimed to not know the answer and quickly asked me if I had ever heard of "google."  

"You know," she says, "Google replaced mothers a long time ago, so you don't even need to bother calling me any more."

"What about the relationship!!!!!"

"You don't even want a relationship with me?!?!?!"

Google can't console me.

Google can't love me.

Google can't listen to me bitch.

And it certainly can not eat lunch with me. 

I hate technology.  It has replaced everything good in this world.

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