I don't know about you but sometimes when I need a quick answer to something I am questioning, I simply dial "2" on my speed dial.
Usually a chipper "hello" comes in on the other line, which I sometimes find sounds slightly sarcastic as if really saying, "Oh jeez what do you want now?" or "Maybe if I sound chipper she won't get all grumpy with me."
So anyways, yesterday I dialed "2" for a much needed "insta-answer" from my mother, the woman who I think knows every answer to every question I have ever had and ever will have. Or at least she should for convenience sake.
This time she however, claimed to not know the answer and quickly asked me if I had ever heard of "google."
"You know," she says, "Google replaced mothers a long time ago, so you don't even need to bother calling me any more."
"What about the relationship!!!!!"
"You don't even want a relationship with me?!?!?!"
Google can't console me.
Google can't love me.
Google can't listen to me bitch.
And it certainly can not eat lunch with me.
I hate technology. It has replaced everything good in this world.
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